Baby-proof your relationship

Having a new baby is the start of an exciting new chapter in your relationship. You’re no longer just a couple: you’re also mummy and daddy to a brand new, little person. But in the early days, lack of sleep, a screaming baby and a crazy workload can put a lot of strain on your relationship. Here are some things you can do to keep your relationship going strong as you and your partner adjust to having a new family.

Sleep

Sleep deprivation is a shortcut to relationship meltdown, so if you want to hang onto your relationship and your sanity, get as much sleep as you can. There’s no way you can be there for each other during those tough first weeks if you’re both exhausted. When your baby sleeps, shut your eyes too. Working in shifts can help in those early days: one of you has the babe, whilst the other goes to bed. Forget about trying to do everything you think you need to. The housework can wait; the dishes can wait; writing thank you cards can wait. JUST GET SOME SLEEP! 

Share

Both of you have created this little bundle of joy, so both of you need to work together to look after him. It’s easy for mums to take over everything and become a little control freakish in the first few weeks, making dads feel left out and sidelined. Just remember, you’re both on the biggest learning curve of your life, so give each other a break and take it in turns to dress, wash, bathe, change, cuddle and play with the baby. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It really, really doesn’t matter if your partner doesn’t dress your babe in the right babygrow, or if the first few nappies are put on back to front - they’ll soon figure it out!

Talk and listen

Remember the days when you used to talk into the early hours, and the conversation didn’t centre around babies? You need to hold onto that as new parents, so make time to talk and listen to one another. Whether one of you has had a bad day at work or the other’s had a funny day at home, talk about it. And if you’re unhappy with how things are going - sharing the workload, getting enough sleep, etc - make sure you talk that through too. Bottling things up won’t change the things that need to be changed and resentment will only lead to one almighty row. Have a cup of tea, talk it out and you’re bound to feel better.

Laughter and romance

Getting romantic with one another might feel like a distant memory of the early days, but there’ll come a day when granny offers to babysit for the night and you should grab the opportunity with both hands. Go out for a meal, a drink or a walk and try not to look at your mobile phone every two minutes. Hold hands. Have some fun. And on evenings when your little one leaves you housebound, spend some quality time together once they’re in bed. Every once in a while cook something nice, light some candles, put on some good music - you remember the drill! Go back to being a couple for the evening. It’ll do you both the world of good. 

Becoming a new parent is a rollercoaster ride. There’ll be huge highs, massive lows and times when you’re desperate to get off. But, like all good experiences, it’s best shared with the one you love. So enjoy it, together.